Were Not Really Strangers: A Comprehensive Guide
Were Not Really Strangers is a card game designed to foster deeper connections through thoughtful questions and self-reflection․ It’s perfect for game nights,
date nights, or simply meaningful conversations with loved ones, encouraging vulnerability and understanding among players of various relationships․
What is Were Not Really Strangers?
Were Not Really Strangers is more than just a card game; it’s a curated experience designed to move beyond superficial interactions and cultivate genuine human connection․ Developed as a tool for meaningful conversations, it challenges players to explore vulnerability, self-awareness, and empathy․ The game centers around three distinct levels – Perception, Connection, and Reflection – each represented by a unique set of cards with carefully crafted prompts․
Initially conceived to combat the often-shallow nature of modern interactions, Were Not Really Strangers aims to facilitate deeper understanding between individuals, whether they are strangers, friends, family members, or romantic partners․ It’s a popular choice for icebreakers, date nights, and gatherings where participants are open to sharing and exploring their inner worlds․ The game’s appeal lies in its ability to spark conversations that go beyond small talk, fostering intimacy and strengthening bonds․
The core philosophy revolves around the idea that true connection requires a willingness to be seen and understood on a deeper level, and the game provides a safe and structured environment to achieve this;
The Core Concept: Levels of Connection
Were Not Really Strangers structures its exploration of connection around three progressive levels: Perception, Connection, and Reflection․ Each level builds upon the previous one, encouraging increasingly vulnerable and insightful exchanges between players․ Level 1, Perception, focuses on first impressions and how we are perceived by others, challenging assumptions and prompting self-awareness․ It’s about understanding the external image we project․
Level 2, Connection, delves deeper, posing rarely asked questions designed to uncover shared values, beliefs, and experiences․ This level aims to forge a stronger bond by exploring individual identities and fostering empathy․ It’s where players begin to truly see one another․
Finally, Level 3, Reflection, encourages introspection and vulnerability, prompting players to confront their inner selves and share personal truths․ This level is about self-discovery and creating a space for authentic expression․ The progression through these levels allows for a gradual and comfortable deepening of connection․
Level 1: Perception ‒ First Impressions
Level 1: Perception in Were Not Really Strangers is all about uncovering how others see you and challenging your own initial judgments․ This stage utilizes the Perception Cards, designed to spark conversations about first impressions and the assumptions we make․ Questions focus on external presentation and how that influences others’ opinions․
Players are prompted to consider what signals they might be sending, consciously or unconsciously․ Prompts like “Finish the sentence: Just by looking at you, I’d think…” or “Do I seem like someone who would get a name tattooed on myself?” encourage playful yet insightful responses․ The goal isn’t necessarily to find ‘right’ answers, but to open a dialogue about perception and self-awareness․
This level is a fantastic icebreaker, suitable for groups just getting to know each other, as it doesn’t require deep vulnerability right away․ It’s a gentle introduction to the game’s core principle: fostering genuine connection through honest conversation․
Understanding Perception Cards
Perception Cards, the foundation of Level 1, are easily identifiable by their distinct design within the Were Not Really Strangers deck․ These cards present questions focused on initial impressions and external perceptions, aiming to reveal how others perceive you based solely on appearance or brief interaction․
The prompts are crafted to be relatively lighthearted, encouraging players to share their thoughts without immediately delving into deeply personal territory․ Examples include questions about texting habits (“Between the two of us, who seems like the better texter?”) or hypothetical gift choices based on appearance․
When using these cards, remember the focus is on perception – not necessarily truth․ Players should respond honestly to how they believe they are seen, and be open to hearing differing perspectives․ This level is about breaking the ice and initiating conversation, setting the stage for deeper connection in subsequent levels․

Level 2: Connection ‒ Deeper Insights
Level 2: Connection marks a shift towards more intimate and revealing conversations within Were Not Really Strangers․ These cards feature “rarely asked questions” designed to help players connect on a deeper level, moving beyond superficial interactions to explore shared values, beliefs, and experiences;
Expect prompts that encourage vulnerability and self-disclosure, prompting players to consider their identities and motivations․ This level is ideal for strengthening bonds with friends, family, or partners, fostering a sense of closeness and understanding․ It’s a space to explore “Who are you, really?”
Be prepared to discuss more personal topics, but remember to approach each question with empathy and respect․ Active listening is crucial in Level 2, allowing players to truly hear and understand each other’s perspectives․ This level transforms game night into a meaningful experience․
Exploring Connection Card Prompts
Connection Card Prompts within Were Not Really Strangers are the heart of Level 2, designed to spark meaningful dialogue․ Examples include questions like, “Between the two of us, who seems like the better texter? Explain,” encouraging playful yet insightful responses․
Other prompts delve deeper, such as, “Finish the sentence: Just by looking at you, I’d think __________,” prompting players to articulate their initial perceptions․ A more challenging question asks, “Do I seem like someone who would get a name tattooed on myself? Why or why not?” fostering vulnerability․

These prompts aren’t about finding “right” answers, but about sharing perspectives and understanding each other’s reasoning․ Consider the question, “If you were to buy me a present, knowing nothing about me other than what I look like, what would it be?” This encourages creative thinking and reveals assumptions․
Level 3: Reflection ౼ Introspection and Vulnerability
Level 3, utilizing Reflection Cards, marks the deepest stage of Were Not Really Strangers, demanding genuine introspection and courageous vulnerability from all participants․ These prompts move beyond surface-level connection, encouraging players to confront personal truths and share them with others․
The focus shifts inward, prompting self-assessment and honest self-expression․ While specific examples aren’t widely publicized (to preserve the game’s impact), expect questions that challenge core beliefs and explore emotional landscapes․ This level isn’t about quick answers; it’s about thoughtful consideration․

Successfully navigating Level 3 requires a safe and trusting environment․ Players must feel comfortable sharing potentially sensitive thoughts and feelings without judgment․ It’s a space for authentic self-discovery and building profound emotional intimacy with those involved, fostering a deeper understanding․

The Role of Reflection Cards
Reflection Cards are the cornerstone of Level 3 in Were Not Really Strangers, designed to unlock profound self-awareness and vulnerability amongst players․ Unlike the initial levels focused on perception and connection, these cards delve into the internal world, prompting deep introspection and honest self-assessment․
These aren’t simple “get-to-know-you” questions․ They are carefully crafted prompts intended to challenge assumptions, explore emotional complexities, and encourage players to articulate their innermost thoughts and feelings․ The questions aim to foster a space for authentic sharing and genuine understanding․
The power of Reflection Cards lies in their ability to move beyond superficial interactions․ They facilitate a journey of self-discovery, strengthening bonds through shared vulnerability․ Players are encouraged to answer thoughtfully, creating a safe environment for open communication and emotional intimacy․
Game Components & What’s Included
The Were Not Really Strangers game arrives as a thoughtfully curated package designed to spark meaningful interactions․ Inside the box, you’ll discover 150 meticulously crafted conversation cards, divided into three distinct levels: Perception, Connection, and Reflection․ Each level builds upon the last, progressively deepening the intimacy of the conversations․
The cards themselves are categorized by color, visually representing their respective levels․ You’ll also find a set of Pink Square Cards, which address more sensitive and potentially intimate topics – these are entirely optional and can be removed to tailor the game to your comfort level․
The game includes a detailed instruction manual outlining the rules, gameplay, and suggestions for customizing your experience․ The quality of the card stock and the overall presentation contribute to the game’s premium feel, enhancing the immersive experience for all players․
Number of Players & Game Duration

Were Not Really Strangers is incredibly versatile in terms of player count, accommodating groups from two to six individuals․ This makes it ideal for intimate couple’s game nights, small gatherings with friends, or even larger parties where players can pair up․ The game truly shines when participants are willing to be open and vulnerable with one another․
Regarding game duration, a single round typically lasts between 30 to 60 minutes, depending on the depth of the conversations and the number of players involved․ However, the beauty of the game lies in its replayability; you can easily play multiple rounds, focusing on different levels or simply revisiting prompts that resonated with you․
The flexible nature of the game allows you to tailor the experience to fit your schedule and preferences, ensuring a meaningful and engaging experience for everyone involved․
Setting Up a Game: A Step-by-Step Guide
To begin, gather your chosen players – anywhere from two to six individuals works best․ Shuffle all three levels of cards: Perception (yellow), Connection (blue), and Reflection (orange)․ Decide if you’ll be playing with all cards or customizing the deck by removing any you deem unsuitable for your group, particularly the pink square cards which address more sensitive topics․
Next, designate a starting player․ This person draws a Level 1 (Perception) card and reads the question aloud to the group․ Each player then answers the question, directed towards the person who drew the card․ Continue rotating the role of the card reader, progressing through Level 1 until all cards are exhausted․
Once Level 1 is complete, move on to Level 2 (Connection), and finally Level 3 (Reflection), following the same rotation process․ Remember, the goal is open and honest communication!
Removing Cards: Customizing Your Experience

A key feature of Were Not Really Strangers is its adaptability․ The game encourages tailoring the experience to suit your group’s comfort levels and boundaries․ If you’re playing with a more conservative group, or with individuals who are new to vulnerability-based games, removing cards is highly recommended․
Specifically, the cards with a pink square in the corner often contain more intimate or sexually suggestive questions․ These are easily identifiable and can be removed before starting the game․ Don’t hesitate to remove cards from any level if a particular prompt feels too personal or triggering for anyone involved․

Removing cards isn’t about censorship; it’s about creating a safe and comfortable space for genuine connection․ Prioritize the well-being of all players and adjust the deck accordingly․ A curated deck fosters trust and allows for deeper, more meaningful conversations․
The Pink Square Cards: Addressing Sensitive Topics
The cards marked with a pink square within the Were Not Really Strangers deck signify prompts that delve into more sensitive and potentially intimate territory․ These questions often explore themes of sexuality, desire, and personal boundaries, requiring a higher level of trust and comfort among players․
Before including these cards in your game, it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries and ensure everyone feels safe and respected․ Openly discuss whether the group is comfortable addressing such topics․ If there’s any hesitation, it’s perfectly acceptable – and encouraged – to remove these cards entirely․
Remember, the goal is to foster connection, not discomfort․ These cards aren’t essential to the game’s core experience and should only be used when all participants are willing and prepared to engage with potentially challenging questions․ Prioritize emotional safety above all else․
Variations for Different Groups (Couples, Friends, Family)
Adapting Were Not Really Strangers for different groups enhances the experience․ For couples, focus on Level 2 and 3 prompts to deepen intimacy and understanding․ Consider removing pink square cards initially, adding them later if both feel comfortable exploring those themes․
With friends, Level 1 and 2 are ideal for building connection and sharing perspectives․ Encourage playful honesty and avoid pressure to overshare․ The game is a great icebreaker for new friendships or a way to strengthen existing bonds․
For family, carefully curate the deck․ Remove pink square cards and potentially some Level 2 prompts that might be too personal․ Focus on Level 1 questions to foster lighthearted conversation and learn new things about each other․ Prioritize creating a safe and comfortable environment for all ages․
Beyond the Game: Using Prompts for Personal Growth
Were Not Really Strangers extends beyond a game; it’s a tool for self-discovery․ Utilize the prompts individually for journaling or mindful reflection․ Explore your responses without judgment, allowing insights to emerge about your values, beliefs, and patterns․
Consider selecting a prompt each day and dedicating time to truly contemplate it․ This practice can enhance self-awareness and emotional intelligence․ Share your reflections with a trusted friend or therapist for deeper processing․
The cards can also inspire creative expression – writing, art, or music․ Use the prompts as starting points to explore your inner world and communicate your experiences․ Embrace vulnerability as a pathway to authenticity and personal growth․ The game’s core lies in honest self-exploration, applicable long after the cards are put away․
Where to Purchase Were Not Really Strangers
Were Not Really Strangers card games are widely available for purchase, offering convenient access to this connection-building experience․ The most prominent retailer is Amazon․com, where you can find various editions and often benefit from competitive pricing and fast shipping․
Additionally, the official Were Not Really Strangers website (werenotreallystrangers․com) provides a direct purchasing option, alongside exclusive bundles and merchandise․ Several other online retailers, including Urban Outfitters and Nordstrom, also carry the game, expanding your choices․
For those preferring in-person shopping, select Target and Barnes & Noble stores stock the game․ Availability may vary by location, so checking online inventory beforehand is recommended․ Remember to compare prices and shipping costs across different platforms to secure the best deal for your Were Not Really Strangers purchase․